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During the past 30 years while working as a pastor, counselor, corporate consultant and trainer of youth and college coaches, the question of what motivates people to do what they do, has always intrigued me. Theories abound, but real understanding is in short supply.
As parents, teachers and coaches, we make decisions every day based on common mis-conceptions in the hope of improving the performance of children on playing fields, sports arenas, classrooms and life in general. Unsurp-risingly, these efforts have proved less than successful and often de-motivating. Here are a few common myths about the science of motivation.
1. Motivation differs from manipulation. In the 1970s, when I was studying counseling and psychology, many bestsellers advised people on how to succeed by intimidating and manipulating others to do what you want. Manipulation is the art of persuading people to do something that is in your interest rather than in theirs. On the other hand motivation is about helping others attain their goals. It’s about creating and building partnerships to achieve mutually agreed goals of parents, coaches and sportspersons.
2. Motivation is mutual inspiration. Motivation, by definition, stimulates inner drive. Suppose, for example, your child demands a new video game, and you tell him that if he cleans up his room, you will buy it for him. The tendency is to believe you’re motivating your child to work by offering the video game. In truth, if he doesn’t want the video game — if his inner drive isn’t pressing — he won’t do the work. It’s his desire — not his filthy room — that is the motivating factor in his decision to clean it up.
3. Some children are beyond motivation. Everyone is motivated, but not by the same stimuli. The secret to good parenting and coaching is to discover each child’s latent needs and look for ways to fulfill them. An old college friend tells this story of his teenage granddaughter. The day her father purchased a new personal computer uploaded with a number of educational tools and databases, he demonstrated its features and advised her to utilise the PC. But she exhibited little interest in the new wonder machine until her parents announced that they had decided to allow her to take a trip with some friends before embarking for college. When the father came home that evening, his daughter presented him with a printout of her itinerary and expenses — all worked out on the PC. Her interest in the new PC had been kindled by what it could do for her — for her reasons, not his.
4. Winning is motivational. While the objective of participation in a game or contest is to win — and no doubt it is fun to win — it’s insufficient motivation. Praise, recognition, playing time, belonging, improvement, camaraderie and other personal factors are greater motivators.
Motivation is a much maligned, overused, over-promoted and misunderstood word. In countless workshops and discussions with athletes, coaches and parents over the years, I have become convinced that motivation is the most misunderstood word in sports. Not only is the concept somewhat nebulous, there are many misconceptions about it.
For example, most parents, teachers and coaches confuse arousal with motivation. A popular misconc-eption is that a pre-game pep talk motivates players to perform better. But there’s considerable evidence to indicate that the only person pep talks motivate is the person doing the talking. Other misconceptions include the idea that positive thinking is all that’s required to succeed; that motivation is predetermined in a player and cannot be altered; and that athletes are not motivated when they balk at doing something the coach or parent’s way.
Certainly motivation is an over-used word. When I was a boy in Compton, California, I often joined my friends to play football on the front lawn of our junior high school. We would play for hours, sometimes in the rain, often suffering bruises, bloody knees and exhaustion. We lost as much as we won. Yet despite suffering injury and loss, and without fans to cheer us or deliver accolades, it never occurred to us not to play the next day. Why? Because when we played we felt alive and totally involved. Our minds, bodies and emotions were in full use. We were not inspired by glory or adulation though at times those motives were present. The compelling factors behind our seemingly inexhaustible energy and enthusiasm were the sense of being fully alive and continuously improving our skillsets.
In subsequent articles, I will continue to share my thoughts on what is and what isn’t motivation. But for now, I leave you with this observation. Motivation is a personal and internal process rather than external stimulus. It is the driving force which compels you to invest blood, sweat, tears and other resources in the effort and action to reach a goal of your choice. If you are an athlete, coach or parent, you are the only one who can truly motivate you.
(Dr. George A. Selleck is a San Francisco-based advisor to EduSports, Bangalore)